Holly: Mental Health Hero

Holly:

What is it like to feel invisible? Holly knows. One of the central protagonists to the novel ‘Mr. Mercedes’ by Stephen King, Holly makes her first appearance on page 219 of a 429 page story. She does not take on the role of narrator until page 286. The story is 52% complete before she appears and 67% complete before she begins to share her inner world with readers. This is an intentional choice on the part of King. 

Known to many of her relatives as ‘Holly the Mumbler’. Holly presents with a veritable feast of mental health symptoms. Described by her cousin as “weird” and having “emotional retardation”. Holly struggles to make eye contact. She suffers from panic attacks and struggles to grasp social nuance. She flinches at physical touch and has crippling social anxiety. She is a chain smoker, highly medicated (“her little white happy-caps”) and calms herself with habitual watching of NASCAR. She has been hospitalized for psychiatric emergencies at least twice and survived an equal number of suicide attempts. Holly is dependent upon her mother’s emotional and daily caregiving and often lapses into dissociative silences in moments of stress. 

As are many who live with chronic mental health disorders, Holly is invisible and instinctively disliked by those around her. When she first expresses her appreciation to Bill Hodges, a retired police detective who is the more obvious choice for the story’s hero, he responds by employing “that splendid police-trained capacity for telling the convincing lie” and tells her “I like you too, Holly.” 

It is hard to imagine that over the course of three novels: ‘Mr. Mercedes’, ‘Finders Keepers’ and ‘End of Watch’ Bill (as well as King’s “constant readers”) will come to profoundly love and respect Holly. As a friend. A business partner. And as a member of his chosen family. But that is the genius of Holly’s character, and King’s portrayal of her in what is known as ‘The Bill Hodges Trilogy’. Holly’s emotional journey over the course of these books is highly empowering to anyone who has known the struggle of balancing their mental health when their very brain and body seem to be working against them. Instead of a cautionary tale or a story of sympathy, Holly’s story is one of strength and resilience and the super powers that one’s mental health and neurodivergency can grant them. 

While never explicitly diagnosed in King’s work, Holly Gibney demonstrates many of the traits commonly associated with Autistic individuals. She also displays symptoms of various anxiety disorders such as social anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. Holly has many physical tics and ritualized behaviors to help ground and soothe her. She exhibits a directness and literal thinking that often disrupts more nuanced social interactions. At times she appears to dissociate from the world around her and often avoids explicit expressions of physical and emotional intimacy. Unexpected situations may make her anxious and elicit a strong ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response; In Holly’s case it is usually freeze.  

One could be excused for reading this list of character traits and questioning how such a person could be the hero of a story about tracking down and foiling the evil plans of the murderous spree killer, Brady Hartsfield. And the glory of Holly’s evolution lies in the fact that, rather than overcoming her perceived challenges to prevail, her unique mind actually contributes to her victory. And although Holly’s confidence and ability to manage her mental health grow through leaps and bounds over her tale, her eccentricities and quirks are never extinguished. Instead she learns to coordinate and coexist peacefully with her neurodivergent brain in a symbiotic relationship which aids in her endeavors. 

Atypical brains, be they Autistic or anxious in nature, can be a source of power and strength. Consider the person who learns not to flee their anxiety but to embrace it and listen to it. Anxiety is an internal security system. It warns us of discomfort and danger so that we can examine our surroundings and keep ourselves safe. Or the Autistic brain that can cut through the fog of social nuance and subterfuge to sense someone’s true motives. And the hyperfocus that can allow such a person to perform highly sensitive tasks even in the midst of chaos and high pressure. 

In ‘Mr. Mercedes’ Holly is paired with two character archetypes who are much more relatable and commonly placed into the role of hero. Bill Hodges is a retired police detective. Flawed in his own way (overweight, borderline alcoholic and considering suicide) at the beginning of his story, but still depicted as intelligent, determined and possessing of a confidence and instinctive knack for detective work that makes him a natural leading man. Similarly, Jerome Robinson, is a precocious young high school student, possessing a natural charisma, vibrancy and athleticism that makes him easy to root for. 

While Bill and Jerome both have moments of heroism throughout the story, Holly is given many of the most noteworthy victories throughout the epic. She is the one to ultimately defeat Brady Hartsfield, with a weapon she takes from Bill while he is sidelined by a heart attack at the climax of the story. The invisibility so often inflicted upon the mentally ill is effectively illustrated in the trilogy in that Brady does not even realize her character exists, let alone that she was the one who stopped him, until late in the third book. 

It is Holly whose intuitive hunches frequently lead to some of the most important discoveries in the trio's investigations. It is Holly who becomes first an anxious helper, then a partner, and finally the owner of the private investigation firm ‘Finders Keeper’ which is first founded by Bill. Holly becomes the emotional heart of the trilogy, developing powerful familial bonds with both Bill and Jerome that are at different times equal parts friend, platonic lover, partner, sister and mother. And they learn to love her not in spite of her unique mind but because of it. She serves as hero both in the story and to any readers who may see themselves in her: Constantly underrated, undervalued and unappreciated, yet rising up and turning her perceived weaknesses into strength. 

The ending of ‘The Bill Hodges Trilogy’ is bittersweet. The trio of heroes defeat the villain, but the titular Bill Hodges succumbs to pancreatic cancer. His death is difficult but it is a critical part of Holly’s story. Her relationship with him was loving and healthy, but it was also the final crutch upon which she leaned. Holly benefits from her partnership and is made stronger by it, but her story is not complete until she realizes that she can serve as her own foundation. Her story begins in ‘Mr. Mercedes’ with her swooning under the social pressure of a funeral and Bill literally catching her and supporting her weight as she retreats from the stressors of the event. In ‘End of Watch’ Holly fully reclaims her strength, first by being the one to physically support Bill as his own health fails and finally by learning to figurately stand on her own. A woman not just living but thriving in a body and mind that are uniquely her own. 

Media & Notes:

King, Stephen. (2014). Mr. Mercedes. 

King, Stephen. (2015). Finders Keepers. 

King, Stephen. (2016). End of Watch.